


Your Cat is Weird

by therisingmoon



Category: Heroes (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 04:26:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2374487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therisingmoon/pseuds/therisingmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even for a cat, Peter's cat is weird. Hesam has a bit of trouble adjusting to his boyfriend's cat in their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Dude and His Boyfriend's Cat

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this years ago during some night owl-induced silliness and chattering with some friends of mine.  
> I just couldn't let it linger on my hard drive. Probably won't ever continue it.
> 
> Heroes belongs to Tim Kring, no copyright infringement intended.

Hesam is convinced Peter's cat is insane. Granted, he doesn't have much to go on to prove as his feeling about cats in general is that they're crazy. However, since he and Peter are living together now, that means he has to put up with Peter's cat. Even for a cat, Sylar is weird; Hesam's not sure if cats can even scowl but Sylar sure did, looking like he's permanently pissed off at the world except for maybe Peter or whenever there's food involved.

Peter seemed to take it in stride, shrugging it off when Hesam pointed out Sylar's strange behavior during movie night. “He's always been like that,” he replied, “You get used to him over time.” Hesam's not sure how to take that, but Peter simply snorted at the expression he was making and kissed him. As the kissing heated up and he was about to unbutton Hesam's pants, Sylar started meowing loudly and crawled in between them to chew on a lock of hair. Peter sighed as he broke the kiss and drooped his head onto Hesam's shoulders before turning a glare at the cat. 

“Sylar...out.” Peter pointed a finger towards the kitchen. Sylar simply made a snorting noise as he licked his paw and curled around them again before darting off to his own business. Peter looks back at Hesam, smiles and attacks his lips as they stumble towards the bedroom and kick the door shut and movie forgotten.

*

Sylar's a pillow hog; it's a fact that Hesam quickly learned when he started sleeping over. He's like a little furry black alarm clock every morning; he chirps loudly enough that when they get out of bed, he immediately hops in and curls up on the pillows with a smug purr and a flick of his tail.

Peter rolls his eyes and halfheartedly pokes the cat to move before going about his day. Hesam would try to shoo him off the bed, but then he remembers that Sylar really doesn't listen to anyone, not even Peter, so he gives up on trying to getting the cat off his pillow. Half an hour later, without fail, Sylar appears at his food bowl and yowls that he be fed just before they leave for work. It's part their daily routine, either Peter or himself will go the fridge and fill Sylar's bowls and then leave for work.

*

It turns out, much to Hesam's amazement, is that given half the chance, Sylar will eat anything. One such time was when he came home from work and found Sylar happily eating the coffee grounds that spilled from the coffeemaker when he tipped it over. They also quickly learned to defrost their meats in the refrigerator since Sylar had a fondness for stealing the frozen meat by dragging it to a corner of the kitchen to eat.

Sylar also had a tendency to sniff out what they're eating for dinner and meow for his fair share; many dinners with Angela have ended with her scowling and lecturing Peter on keeping the cat away from the kitchen and especially from her. To say that Angela doesn't like Sylar is an understatement; Hesam sometimes wonders if the reason Peter keeps the cat around is to keep his mother from coming over so often.

*

Peter shrugs as he scratches the back of his head when Hesam asked him what Angela's problem with the cat was. “She's never really liked animals for some reason, so I don't really bring it up with her.”

“You know, it could be the name,” Hesam replies. “Naming him after that serial killer dude from a while is pretty fucked up, dude.”

“Well, it's not like I tried!” Peter retorts. “I gave him all sorts of names and for some reason, he only started responding to me when I mentioned the name one day so it stuck!”

Hesam shakes his head as he laughs. “Your cat is weird.”

“I know,” Peter sighs as he pokes his toes in Sylar's belly; he's asleep on their coffee table and the only sign of movement is his tail flickering back and forth. “Movie?”

*

Peter doesn't tell Hesam that the reason the cat is named Sylar is because the cat *is* Sylar. He doesn't know how or why his arch-nemesis is now a cat, but all he knows is that it's keeping the bastard out of bigger trouble, but he's now being an annoying shit just because he can. At least to his credit, Sylar's adapting to his new form and finding ways to entertain himself while alone in the apartment. He's also pretty sure Angela knows the truth as well, which explains why she keeps pestering him to get rid of the cat. On the other hand, she's kept her meddling and visits to a minimum now that Sylar and Hesam are living with him. In a weird way, it's kind of a relief to not answer messages or house calls from his mother every day. Maybe he'll give Sylar some wet food tonight instead of the kibble but then again, Sylar apparently will eat anything. Peter opts for sprinkling catnip on the floor instead and films the reaction.


	2. Butter Chicken and Couch Potatoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of bonding over Indian food.

It's just Hesam and Sylar in the apartment this week; Peter's schedule has been turned around and opposite Hesam's schedule so they haven't been able to see each other for more than 10 minutes this week. Which means that Hesam is stuck dealing with the cat by himself and he's pretty sure Sylar's attitude regarding him is something akin to kitty mockery. The cat is *always* staring at him with his head cocked and he's not sure why it's so unsettling.

* 

Hesam plopped himself down on the couch with a takeout box of butter chicken and rice; Peter's working tonight and the cat has disappeared to God knows where. His whole plan tonight was to eat last night's leftover Indian food and watch TV until it was time to go to bed; maybe he could actually try to spend some time in getting Sylar to be nice to him.

Of course, the moment he's about to take a bite from his fork, Sylar appears from the top of the couch and makes his presence known to Hesam by headbutting him.

Startled, Hesam drops his fork onto the floor and picks it back up. “You little shit,” he grumbles as he lets the cat nibble the food off his fork. “Shouldn't have scared me like that unless you were hungry for butter chicken.” He's met with a happy purr and Sylar leaping from the top on the couch cushion to nuzzle his free hand. Hesam shakes his head as he gets up with his plate and heads for the kitchen for a new fork; Sylar follows at his heels and plaintively meowing for more food. 

“Fine. One more bite, Sylar,” Hesam huffs as he cleans the dirty fork and picks out a new fork to eat with. “You really should be on a diet or something, you're going to get fat from all the food you steal.” Sylar simply rubs up against him as he purrs and meows for that promised nugget of chicken. With a resigned sigh, he squats down and feeds the cat a piece of chicken topped with a scritch on the head. “That's it, no more Indian food for you tonight. You're a little garbage disposal, man.”

Sylar meows again as he paws at his pants, the tips of his claws only peeking through, only letting go when Hesam shakes his head and walks back to the living room. He jumps up onto the couch cushion right next to Hesam and intently watches him as the carton gets emptied; he kneads a paw against Hesam's stomach and headbutts him again before jumping off the couch as Hesam turns to lie down on the couch to watch TV. 

He settles on watching old reruns of Friends when Sylar jumps back onto the couch and lands on Hesam's stomach. “Hey, come on,” he gasps as Sylar treads his paws all over him. “I'm trying to watch TV here!” Unfortunately for him, his protests were ignored as Sylar kneads his prickly paws on his stomach before finally settling down with a satisfied purr. Seeing as the cat is not going to move for a while, Hesam simply reaches up to scratch Sylar's head and turns his attention back to the TV. 

They're asleep when Peter comes home; he smirks as he pulls out his phone and quietly takes a picture of Hesam blissfully asleep on the couch with a sleeping Sylar perched his stomach. Blackmail material forever.

*

Sylar doesn't have a problem with Hesam, honestly. He seems to be a nice enough guy who works well with Petrelli. He's not a special but he seems okay enough; he likes Indian food so that's a point in his corner and frankly speaking, he just likes to mess with Hesam because he's often bored and needs entertainment. Catnip toys only go so far.

But don't blame him for trying to gnaw on Hesam's head if he calls Sylar a garbage disposal again.


End file.
